Why I changed my vote at the ABC Biennial

For those of you in the American Baptist Churches community, you know we had our biennial this past weekend in Pasadena. I had written on both the Rochester Summit yahoo group and in emails as well as Facebook why I was going to support the new structure.

In the end, I changed my vote. The vote failed, 337 yes, 217 no, 20 abstentions, 12 votes shy of the 2/3 majority needed.

The presentation was done very poorly. There were two slides on the power point--one about what would change, one about what would not. There were no printed materials available (though we were told there were, no one I knew was ever given a printed page about anything we were voting on until, after I was urged by my colleagues sitting with me, went down to the floor and asked for a copy of the board of directors ballot and A. Roy Medley graciously gave me his own copy. Finally they did put the ballot up on the screen for people to see). In years past, all the information has been included in the Biennial guide, including all the rules and procedures for the meeting.

Mary, our president, did announce at the beginning of the opening words on Friday night that delegated needed to sign up ahead of time for time to speak for or against the new bylaws. While some complained that they did not know this, it was announced, and has been part of the procedures since I can remember in attending a Biennial. However, all of these procedures are usually included in the Biennial guide and they were not.

Also, the mailing to all the congregations was of a CD with the proposed changes and Statements of Concern. They mailed one per church. In the past, I know I received all items to be voted on personally in the mail. Everyone on the ABC mailing list still received the registration materials, but not the changes. Also, while a CD certainly is better for those of us that use today's technology, not all the gathered delegates received the CD.

I began to distrust the process based on the lack of information and poor presentation. But in the end, I voted against the process because there were too many responses to questions of "we will tweak that later." It was clear that neither National Ministries nor International Ministries were prepared for the changes. Seeing how it was only a few years ago that there was an attempt to have International Ministries cecede from the denomination, I am weary of giving any board freedom to do whatever they wish, which is what it appeared to be without understanding of what they were going to do with such freedom.

Freedom is key for us as Baptists. But with freedom comes responsibility and accountability, and I could not tell how any of the boards would be accountable to the denomination based on what was presented. The language of covenant needs to be included. American Baptist Churches are autonomous but we covenant with one another in relationship. The continued covenantal relationships need to be assured in the process.

Overall, as the last speak spoke against the proposed changes, I became aware of what my friends who grew up Southern Baptist had experienced. This was not the intention of any of the leaders of ABC, but it could have been the consequence. Ideological and theological factions could easily take over one of the boards if proper accountability is not established. Also, there is no guarantee of diversity in the boards--there is the intention, no doubt--but no guarantee. I could not, in good conscience, vote for such a structure.

I understand the current system does not work and will bankrupt us. I am all for reducing the size of the General Board and still would vote for those names on the ballot for the Board of Directors. But that vote should not have been included with the vote for the proposed changes--you vote for the changes first before voting for the board. And while the proposed board was definitely diverse, there was still no guarantee that in the future we would have such diverse representation.

On the matter of the Public Witness Statements, I am very glad the Metro Chicago signature statement came to the floor. I agree that we still need space at our biennial gatherings to bring our concerns together. I also agree that the past processes have been abused and harmful to minority groups in our gathering. Public Witness Statements would require a 3/4 vote from the other bodies, so if it is initiated by a region, 3/4 of the regions must vote in favor of it in order to pass and become part of our policy. I am weary of a process in which such a statement could come from one of our boards, such as International Ministries, and only need to be approved by 3/4 of the boards. I am less weary of it coming that way from the regions, and to be frank, 3/4 will be tough but it moves towards greater consensus rather than only majority rules. I still believe we should have an opportunity to hear and raise concerns and dissent as well as approval at our Biennial meetings. I know that it means it would take 3/4 of a vote to rescind a previous statement or resolution, but I have less problems with the number as I do with the process.

One of my biggest pet peeves are people who complain about something but don't offer any suggestions or alternatives. My hope is that all of us who changed our vote or who were against it from the beginning will help go back to the drawing board, taking the things that worked well (I have yet to hear why a Mission Table and Mission Summit would be a bad idea, other than there was no guarantee the Mission Table would follow through on any ideas that came from there) and tweaking--no, I really detest that word--relying on the Holy Spirit for guidance, propose alternatives.

Overall, though, I found this Biennial to be the most positive of the ones I have attended from my experience and perspective. For those of us who attended the Young Adult Clergy Network dinner and worship and the Young Adult Clergy Caucus, there is a rising energy to be part of this denomination, not passively, but actively. I urge my colleagues in the Young Adult groups to be part of proposing changes to the new structure.

One of the blessings of my generation is that we seem to be able to handle the disagreements much better. Not all of us are Welcoming and Affirming though a greater number of us do seem to be; however, I found it much more pleasant to be at the table with members of my generation who a) wanted to share their views and b) wanted to hear mine without judgment! It seemed possible to be able to agree to disagree without walking away from the table, but coming to the table! Not only are we not wanting to disfellowship each other, but we need each other. And for those of us who are clergy, we have our own issues that we are concerned about--such as whether or not full-time ministry is a viable option going into the future in the current economic crisis, the challenge of getting churches to understand that compensation needs to increase as the cost of education has astronomically increased and the amount of financial aid has decreased. We also discussed the fact that in previous generations it was acceptable for a church to call someone right out of seminary; now, it seems to be perceived that we don't have enough experience. For those of us who have served as associate ministers, it is still tough to get a primary pastoral position because associate ministry is not valued in the same way. We've got a lot of other issues that are more personal, more challenging to our call by God to ministry, than whether or not we agree or disagree on issues of human sexuality.

We are not the future of the denomination. We are in the denomination NOW and we cannot afford to just wait for our current leaders to make the right decisions--we need to help. We need not only to propose and suggest changes, but it is high time some of us started getting elected to some of these positions of leadership.

To sum it up, I feel very empowered and inspired coming away from this Biennial. I feel there is a new energy coming up and its time for us to get involved and not just rely on someone else to make the decisions for us and complain when we don't agree. Because we're going to be the ones who will have to live with the decisions being made. It's our time.

(edited to add the information about the vote)

Confessions of a Pastor-Mom, take 2

1. My baby always comes first.  

2. More than once the topic of transition in the church has made me think of changing diapers, but I have refrained from using that metaphor.

3. I love that my church loves my baby.

4. There are days (not all the time, but some) when I wish I could just be mom and not Pastor.  Especially Sundays when my baby is running a fever (luckily, that's only happened twice).

5. In some ways, being a pastor and a mom has been an easy balance.  When AJ was younger and in an infant seat, it was very easy for me to take him with me on visitations.  With JC and I working out our schedule (and keeping Google Calendar always open on our computers) we have been able to balance out childcare for the most part between the two of us.  And on days when AJ has been a bit more active at home, I have been able to work more in the evening.  I can almost always at least read email and check messages if I can't do anything else at the time.

6. In some ways, being a pastor and a mom has been a very difficult challenge.  Right now I am in the office two days a week.  I'd like to be there more often.  Our church circumstances make it so that we're not a place where people do drop in very often, so it makes it easier to work from home in that way.  But there are days when AJ needs more attention, certain visits I can no longer take him on (he is more mobile and more apt to reach for things, and most people's houses are not babyproofed).  Sunday afternoon visits are pretty much out for me.  AJ and I get to the church around 9:30 most days but some days it is earlier and we are usually there until 1 or 2.  By that time, he is done for the day.  It makes it more difficult to follow up with visitors or to stay for meetings running late (hey, maybe that latter isn't such a bad thing, after all!)  My schedule just simply isn't as flexible as it once was and I need to schedule visitations in advance.  So far, emergency situations have been few and most of the time they have occurred when my husband happens to be home or we've been in a situation where we can get a babysitter easily.

7. I love having children in worship.  I have always felt that the church of Jesus was meant to be an inter-generational church.  99% of the time I never hear children's voices or actions as distractions; rather, it is the parents saying "Shhh!" and "Be Quiet!" that is the more irritating sound!  However, my ears automatically tune in when my son makes a sound.  And being the son of two preachers, he likes to make noise!  But I love that he is in worship with me most of the time.

8. Sermon-writing has to happen in the church office during my office hours, which means sometimes I don't answer the phone right away.  If I do end up on the phone, then sermon-writing either happens late in the evening, or on my days "off."

9. I have rarely taken a full day off since going back to ministry full-time after AJ was born.  Usually something slips through the cracks during the week and I have to take care of it on Friday or Saturday.

10. My "mommy-mind" has made me forget things causing #9 more often than not.  

And finally...

11. I love being a pastor and a mom.  God has called me to both.  So far, so good!

Becoming the thing you hate

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.  The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.'  But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted."--Luke 18:10-14.

A while ago (more than a year now) a couple sought me out at the church for assistance.  They gave me their story of how they had lost their job, needed help with rent, and couldn't afford their medications.  They started coming regularly to see me, once every three or four weeks, each time with a different story of how they didn't have enough to feed their children, or were on their last diaper, or some other need that was urgent.  I helped them for a while, but very quickly began to wonder if they really were in need.  When I questioned them on this, they became quite angry and stopped seeking my help.  I have since learned they moved on to another church (and they had come from another church) looking for assistance.  Never once did they come to church on Sunday morning.

The thing that really bothered me was how they would complain about "welfare moms" stealing from the system.  They would complain about others in their life who were taking what was rightfully theirs, in their eyes.  Yet not once could they see themselves in the other's shoes.  

This is just one example, but one thing I have begun to notice lately, whether it be folks like these coming to my church, or family members, or friends, is that sometimes we despise something so much, we end up becoming it. 

I remember back in the fall of 2002 a group of students from Andover Newton Theological School went to protest at the visit of President Bush to downtown Boston during Mitt Romney's gubernatorial campaign.  It was October and this was when the rumors of "Weapons of Mass Destruction" in Iraq were widespread and the possibility of going to war was imminent.  Notice that I said the students went to protest at the visit, not the visit itself.  I went with them, to protest the war.  

But I found myself appalled at the number of people who were there who protested President Bush by displaying a Bush doll with its head cut off, or the chants "The GOP are murderers."  That was not what we came to do.  We came to protest the war.  We had signs that said "Love your enemies."  We had signs that read "Those that live by the sword die by the sword."  Many of us turned our backs when the chanting started and people were getting out of control.  Instead, we prayed, and we sang, "This little light of mine."  We had come to make a positive impact, to say that this war is wrong, but our voice was drowned out.

I wonder if many of those people who came to the protest got caught up in the crowd mentality, and I wonder if in protesting the war, they became the very thing they were trying to protest against--cruel, one-sided talk and judgments.  They were not open to listening to the other side.  The other side was wrong and they were right.  Yet in their perceived righteousness, they played by the same rules, used the same tactics, that they were against.  Their language became violent and oppressive.

I have seen this with children at times.  In trying to stand up against a bully, they become a bully themselves.  They see an injustice and want to stand up against it, but end up fighting with the other child.  Or worse--they take up arms and escalate the violence.  

It's time to stop the cycle of violence and hate--whether it be physical or verbal or emotional.  Whether it seem a petty argument between children or violence between groups of people.  But it begins by looking at ourselves.  Because it is all to easy to become the thing we hate.

Once again, I must use the same quote from Jesus as in my last post:

"Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.  For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.  Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye' while the log is in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye."--Matthew 7:1-5

Issues Vs. People

"Do not judge, so that you may not be judged.  For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.  Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Let me take the speck out of you eye,' while the log is in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye."--Matthew 7:1-5

I have made several friends through a local message board.  One of our sub-boards is a place to discuss divisive issues.  However, these conversations often end up blowing up and out of proportion to the original question that was posed or issue that was brought up.  

I have discovered for myself that often it is hard to keep personal feelings and experiences out of these arguments--in fact, I think it is just downright impossible for most people to do this.  We feel strongly about an issue simply because we feel.  We're human beings, not robots (although any fans of the new Battlestar Galactica might argue that robots have feelings, too, but that's another topic for another time and boy am I excited about that series and sad that it is coming to an end!  But I digress...)

I look to the model of Jesus, and I am reminded that issues come and go, but people are always here.  I cannot think of an issue without thinking of a person behind it--if we discuss healthcare, I am thinking of the family I know that needs help with rent because they can't afford the many copays on their prescriptions.  I think of my mother-in-law and her bad health insurance that she had and how it would have been better for her to have no health insurance than bad insurance.  Personally I am reminded of the bills and copays and wrestling on the phone I had to do with my own healthcare coverage recently (see my last post).

I cannot talk about AIDS/HIV without thinking of my good friends who are living with this disease who still, in 2009, dare not tell other friends, family, or coworkers about it for fear of retribution/shame/isolation.  I cannot discuss gay marriage without thinking of my friends who deeply love one another, are committed to one another just as I am committed to my husband, or thinking of my friends who wrestle with Scripture deeply and feel that their voice is not always heard.  

I cannot think about abortion without thinking of the woman whose baby was diagnosed with Trisomy-18, practically a death sentence in itself, or the teen at 14 who has no support from family, or the young woman who was raped, or the grandmother I know who still grieves her decision forty years later.  I cannot argue about immigration without remembering the stories of those families, adults and children, who have died crossing the border into Texas, because things were that bad at home, or think about the families who have entered our community here twenty years ago who are still harassed for the language and culture, or those who are part of my family who waited and came legally and wonder what part of the American dream is left for them?

I cannot even begin to talk about our current economic crisis without thinking of the woman in our town who was duped by the broker into believing she could afford a mortgate that was above her means, or the family of four that struggle month-to-month to pay their mortgage and do so by cutting back on things other families enjoy, or the friends who desperately want to buy a home but can't get approved for a mortgage now when they were six months ago.

These are people, not issues.  These stories are real, and they have touched me, and they are on all sides of the issue.  I feel for them, and I cannot begin to debate or discuss without being reminded of their stories, all the time.

All too often we put our expeirence above the experiences of others.  All too often we put our opinions above the real-life struggles of others around us.  I hear people tell me that others are getting the easy way and they have the hard way and it's not fair.  They believe they are right because they did things the right way in their mind.  With that, I am reminded of the Parable of the Talents.  To sum it up (Matthew 20:1-16), a landowner goes out to hire day laborers to work his field, some in the morning, some at noon, and some near the end of the day.  At the end of hte day, he pays them all the same--from those who worked all day to those who only worked a few hours.  They grumble and complain that it's not fair.  The landowner replies, "'Friend, I am doing you no wrong, did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage?  Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you.  Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me?  Or are you envious because I am generous?'  So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

We need to remember that life isn't fair, and that the way we see it isn't always right.  There is a larger picture in play.  The scripture I began this post with is a reminder to all of us that it is easy for us to judge others, especially on issues, but all too often we don't take that log out of our own eye, and as a good Southern Baptist friend once said, all too often we end up "whacking each other with the planks in our eye while arguing over a speck."  We blow things out of proportion.  We are so committed to being right that we forget to see the other person, their feelings, their story.  We think our story is more important and we take precendence.

We need to look to the model of Jesus.  Whenever the Pharisees tried to bring up issues, he brought up people.  The Pharisees were upset that he broke the commandment of no work on the Sabbath; Jesus instead healed a person in need of healing.  The Pharisees were upset that Jesus would eat with sinners and tax collectors--in other words, lawbreakers.  Jesus told them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.  Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice'" (Matthew 9:12-13).   Many of the religious elite were upset with Jesus over issues, but Jesus always brought it back to people--he healed people, included people, refused to stay away from lepers but instead not only healed them but told them their sins were forgiven.  

We need to follow Jesus' way.  We need to remember that behind every issue we see is a real person, a real family, a real story.  

Perhaps this is why I am in ministry and not in politics, because I could never separate the issues from the people.  And perhaps I lean a bit too much on the sensitive side, but what is funny about me is that I rarely take things personally that have to do with myself--someone can say something about me and while it may hurt for a little while, I can let it go.  I know that God will get me through.  But I have a hard time when others' stories are attacked, when others' feelings are hurt--I hear them, I feel with them, and I find myself compelled to stand up for them--even if, on the issue, I don't agree with them.  I don't have to agree with them on the issue to see their story as a real story, to see them as a real person, God's child.  

Sigh.  I have taken a break from the message board, because sometimes things do just get a bit personal.  In my church, I have a clear role as pastor.  With my friends, the dividing line of pastor and friend can get blurred, and sometimes I need to step back to remember that I don't always have to get involved, I don't always have to try to help people understand there is another point of view.  Sometimes I need to just be a friend, and sometimes that is hard for me when the lines begin to blur.

Our Health "Care" System

We've got to do something about our health "care" system in America.   I put the care in quotes because while many may receive care when they are in hospitals or doctors offices, rarely do they see care from the insurance company.

Backstory:

After my emergency c-section and infection, I began receiving notices for copays from my doctor's billing office.  I was under the impression that all of my follow-up visits to my doctor were covered (they all had to do with my incision--whether or not it was healing and checking for signs of infection).  I called my doctor's office and they told me not to pay the bill--it must be a mistake.  I called the billing office.  The first time I spoke with someone they agreed that I should not be billed and that it must have been coded wrong; they would rectify the situation.  Two weeks later, I received another bill for more visits.  I called back.  This time, the person I spoke to was not so nice and said that my insurance company was kicking it back and that I was responsible.  I told them that these visits again were for my infection and incision and not part of regular routine care, and they said they would speak to a supervisor and get back to me.  A week later I called back and left a message but did not hear a response.

A month later I received more notices from them and notices from a collection agency.  This continued from October through January.  It finally seems to have been resolved (every time it seems to have been a "coding' issue).

On top of that, I received a bill from a lab where I had some test sent in, once again regarding my incision and infection.  The bill was for $400 (we met our $1000 deductible when AJ was born.  As a side-note, we did receive a statement from both the hospital and the insurance company--our stay was over $20,000!!!  Thank goodness we had insurance, right?)  I called the doctor's office, and they were shocked.  They told me to call the billing office.  Again, the burden of repsonsiblity was placed on me, that I obviously did not have the proper coverage.  Finally after trying to argue with them that this wasn't possible they gave me the phone number for the lab.  I called the lab and as soon as I gave them the account number, they said, "Oh, we have your insurance group # wrong, can you give it to me?"  That's all it was, a simple error, and they knew.  Rather than calling me when they found this error, they sent a bill instead.

Finally, on top of these two situations I began receiving bills from the hospital for my follow-up with the wound clinic when my incision wasn't healing properly.  When I called, they said they need a referral.  I was told specifically by my insurance company that I did not need referrals when it came to OBGYN related issues--it is the one exception for referrals.  But even though my incision and infection were a direct result of having a baby, apparently it didn't fall under OBGYN.  So I called my doctor's referral office (and everyone there has always been super helpful) and they sent a referral to the insurance company.  Right around Christmas I received two more bills and a notice that they would send a collection agency after me.  I called the hospital and they said they never received the referrals and needed the case #.  I called my referral office again and they said they had no case # but they had an account #, and I called the hospital back and gave that to them.  The referral office also sent me a paper copy of the referral, just in case.  In the end, I was billed two co-pays for $20 apiece and decided not to fight that anymore.

What a pain.  I went back over my notes the other day on all these issues and I spent on average  at least one hour a week between the beginning of October through the first of February on insurance related issues.  Time that was completely wasted.

I really feel that my insurance company and the billing offices could care less about one's actual health care.  They are more concerned with whether they get paid or not than whether or not the patient actually heals.  

I've done a lot of reading, thinking, and learning about universal healthcare.  I know a lot of people are against it, including members of my own family and some very close friends.  They think the quality of care will go down.  It is "socialized medicine" (and on a side note I still don't get why socialism is such a bad word, but I digress).  They point out British and Canadian healthcare and talk about all the bad things they have heard (but few have actually experienced themselves).  But they never, ever, offer an alternative to the system that we have.

I lived in England for six months and saw both sides of the system.  I saw people who had emergencies get in right away, and I heard the story of a woman in need of a hysterectomy who was put on a nine-month wait.  I can't imagine having to wait nine months for a necessary procedure.

JC and I saw a segment on Nightline on PBS about universal healthcare around the world.  What we learned from this was that the British and Canadian systems are not the best examples out there of good universal healthcare.  In fact, Taiwan and Japan were among the best.  Still, they had their drawbacks, and often their healthcare systems are in debt.  But, for example, if you have a shoulder injury and want to see an orthopedic specialist, in those countries you call the orthopedic specialist directly and get an appointment that day.  No need to get a referral.  

The whole referral system in my opinion is a waste of our time and money.  According to the Nightline special, the U.S. spends 16% of total healthcare costs on paperwork.  In countries with universal healthcare, the cost is less than 1%.  Seeing how many pieces of paper were sent back and forth in my case with incorrect billing and coding issues, I can see how easily those costs add up.

My experience is not that bad at all, in comparison to the many who do not have insurance, or worse, who have bad insurance.  Most people who do not have insurance end up qualifying for some sort of assistance in the long run.  But if you have bad insurance, such as my mother-in-law had when she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, you will receive bill after bill and not qualify for assistance.  

Growing up we rarely had health insurance.  I think there were two years when my mom had coverage from work but then they dropped the dependants from coverage.  As a result, I rarely had regular checkups or physicals (except when I played sports and had to have a physical, at which time my parents paid out of pocket).  We had dental coverage when I was thirteen and again when I was seventeen, so that is when I had dental appointments.  As a result of having no dental coverage later, when I was in graduate school I had to ask for help from my parents to pay for a root canal.  Since then I have made sure to always go to the dentist, regardless of coverage.

There are many, many families out there who cannot afford insurance or end up paying for minimal insurance, and when something big happens, end up paying a lot in out of pocket expenses, copays and deductibles.  What's worse, when they cannot pay they are met with nasty claims notices and threats from collection agencies.

There has got to be a better system than this.  

When I think about Jesus and his healing ministry, I think of the woman who was hemorraging for twelve years, who spent everything she had on doctors who couldn't help her.  I think of her faith in Christ to heal her.  And I think of how easily, how readily, Christ was willing to reach out, not only for spiritual healing but physical healing.  I think of the holistic ministry of Christ.  As a church, we are called to promote holistic healing.

I know not everyone agrees with me on universal healthcare, and less I restate my disclaimer above, this is my own opinion.  But I will restate the obvious:

There has got to be a better system than what we have.

Our beloved Jabber

First it was Manchester, now Jabber.

The last few months, Jabber has not been well.  He really missed Manchester after he was gone and was very down, seeming depressed.  In the time since AJ arrived, he has distanced himself.  He was not fond of the sounds AJ made all the time, though he did love to come lick AJ's hand.  But more often than not he was in the den, by himself.  

In the last month we observed he was in a lot of pain.  Jabber has had problems with colitis since he was 9 years old and was constantly bleeding.  The only thing that helped was a higher fiber diet which caused him to lose his bowels frequently.  As time as gone on, he showed signs of significant pain, not allowing us to touch him on his belly or near his tail; often going to his crate to lick himself and curl up to go to sleep.

Still, he had a long and happy life.  Jabber was a rescue dog--he had been abandoned and Manchester's vet offered him to JC as a companion for Manchester, and the two got along great.  Jabber loved to chase squirrels and mice, play fetch, and sleep in the sun.  Jabber often went on long walks and hikes with us, even hiking with our friend Carol this fall, though he got tired out more and more.

Jabber was never the smartest dog.  Jabber was missing all of his front teeth from two separate accidents--once he chased after a tennis ball and ran into Manchester, and another time he chased a tennis ball and hit a rock buried in the ground.  As a result, he would often fall asleep and his tongue would roll out of his mouth.  He'd wake up with a dry tongue, smacking his lips.

On other occasions, while walking him, Jabber would be distracted by a ball or a squirrel or another dog, and more than once he walked right into a telephone poll or parked car because he was not paying attention.  He would often overshoot the tennis ball while playing fetch and end up rolling over and over way beyond the ball because he tried to break in time and could not.

In the last few years Jabber has had numerous health problems beside the colitis--he tore his ACL when he was 9 and we were faced at that time with putting him down or paying for an extremely expensive surgery.  We made the decision for the surgery and Jabber recovered beautifully.  Then a year ago a bump on Jabber's face began to grow and he became moody and very irritable, always scratching at it.  We faced the decision and paid to have it removed, and he bounced back once again within a week.

But this time there was no surgical option that would save him.  Jabber has always been lumpy--he had fatty tumors all over him and in the early years JC had the vet do a biopsy on a few of them, but they always turned out to be benign.  One of the ones on his abdomen in the last year has become much larger and very painful to the touch--he wouldn't let us touch him there--and we believe that it was causing his intestinal bleeding.  There would have been no way to remove it without killing him.

This past week he smelled of blood, really bad, and we knew his time was coming.  Upon consultation with the vet, we decided it was time.  Jabber lived a long 12 1/2 years, a good life for a rescued dog that was almost put down several times over the years.  He was loved dearly, and he is now greatly missed.  We hope that he and Manchester are now keeping each other company, wherever dogs go when they die.

Election day has come at last!

2 years after most of the presidential candidates began candidating, even if they hadn't officially announced it yet, we are finally here. We have our two choices (well, actually, there were five choices on the Massachusetts ballot). And tonight one of the major news networks will break the news before the polls have completely closed in the whole country who our next president will be.

In many ways I wish we had a parliamentary system. In Canada, I believe, candidates campaign for about two weeks. And you have several to choose from. And I've always found it fascinating that wherever the U.S. has been involved in rebuilding a country's government, from Iraq to Japan to Germany and so on, we have always helped build a parliamentary system, not a system like we currently have. I think there's something to learn there, that perhaps the system that we established long ago isn't necessarily the best system.

And when we look back in our American History, when the Constitutional Congresses were convening, the setup was to inspire the still-new country to keep coming back to the Constitution and to keep amending and changing as our country was changing and growing. At some point in the early 1800's we decided we didn't need to do that anymore, but it's clear from the writings of our forefathers that they didn't think we were finished yet--we were still a work in progress.

And we still are. 232 years since the Declaration of Independence, and 221 since the Constitution was signed, we're not perfect yet. We've got a long way to go. Women have only had the right to vote for less than 100 years, and African-Americans in the South have only had the restrictions on their rights to vote removed for less than 50 years, and still in some places, we have a long way to go.

But I hope you went out and voted today and helped bring us another step forward as we grow, together, as a country. I feel very hopeful today, and my prayer is that we will work together as one nation, with many voices, and hopefully someday all of those voices can be heard, freely and fairly.